How to get your spouse to help participate....

Have you asked her to do specific things?

absolutely....let me explain....we are living together and not married but have known each other a long time. I have asked her numerous times to help out with food stocks, or even just a hand sorting through everything with no response. But when I teased her about not participating, she got offended.

my situation is much the same. she'll help out from time to time, mostly with dating canned goods, or things like that, but to get her to help can, or put stuff away where it belongs is like pulling teeth.

she won't follow the pantry shelf rules, she just jams crap where every there is a hole. . .drives me nuts.

she also moves stuff around, i still can't find my binoculars. . .

maybe time to trader her in for a younger model 😛 (and yes, i tell her that. . . it doesn't help)

Sometimes there is a gap between knowing and accepting. You may discuss prepping with her and she may see you doing things... canning, buying food and equipment, etc. The sad thing is... so long as she doesn't REALLY acknowledge it all... there is no problem... once she buys into it and actually begins to work with you she has to admit the posibility of needing it... that the scenarios may become reality. THAT is the hardest thing to accept and the easiest to avoid. Especially when your partner is doing it. You may have to accept the fact that she will never buy into it or help you. If that is the case then you have to decide if you wish to do it all for both of you.... or seriously redefine the relationship and her place in it. I'm not trying to be harsh... but eventually the "grate" will become a grind that no amount of lube will smooth out. Especially if you do come to need it. The "I told you so" after the fact may be too little, too late to make it worth while.

Not that this is an answer but my ex was the same way when it came to food items. He did however collect some antique tools and learn the trades that go with them. The was not my doing- it was just his choice. It's been close to 5 years since I left. It's only been the last few months that he "gets" it but he still only stocks up on sales.

I think some people just can't or won't try to be prepared no matter how hard you try. I stopped letting it bother me years ago that I was the only one prepping. I did it to make me "feel safe".

Not that this is an answer but my ex was the same way when it came to food items. He did however collect some antique tools and learn the trades that go with them. The was not my doing- it was just his choice. It's been close to 5 years since I left. It's only been the last few months that he "gets" it but he still only stocks up on sales.

I think some people just can't or won't try to be prepared no matter how hard you try. I stopped letting it bother me years ago that I was the only one prepping. I did it to make me "feel safe".

the best way to double your food store is to get a divorce!

There are so many who probably do preparation work totally without the support of their spouses that perhaps acceptance without participation is a small blessing.

Perhaps if you consider prepping your own personal hobby it might help, I'm certain she has hobbies and things she participates in that you wouldn't consider joining into. My wife is a fitness hound and loves shopping and to own "things" and lives in dog rescue sites with a rare and scary obsession. Certainly not my things, but she doesn't ask me to participate.

I would say my wife is probably a match to your partner. She tolerates my obsession but doesn't participate. Neither does she criticise it. There are small blessing wrapped up in every package.

I started prepping and talking about the severity of changing conditions years ago, so far to no avail or real need. That takes patience from a partner when they don't see the real need immediately imposing. Sometimes I question the validity of the effort but justify it knowing that nothing I have accumulated will go to waste. Perhaps if the time ever does come that your preparations do come to use she will better understand and appreciate your efforts.

The one thing for certain - it is far more pleasant to consider facing adversity with a partner than without one. Self-survival? Seems relatively unpleasant. I do what I do to be able to provide for and share with the people that I love and care for, participation isn't a prerequisite.

I've never considered prepping; WORK. The effort shopping, stocking, building shelves, storing, organising, considering the usefulness or practicality of other needs and particularly learning is a pleasure. The day it becomes WORK - well, I don't like the sounds of that.

Just my personal opinion on the issue of partner participation or lack thereof.

A nice perspective Rouge. You really seem to have it together. Let's hope Prepping never becomes work.

An interesting article is at http://www.thesurvivalistblog.net/5-tips-to-get-your-spouse-on-board-for/

Good article you linked into Prepher,

It just about covers the range of likelihood’s and some really good suggestions that relate directly to the conversation. If I practice anything documented in the responses it would be to know that obsessively speaking about the reasons for prepping does wear thin. For that reason I've always avoided that. I really don't like to listen to peoples' specualtions about the future over and over and over again, particularly if they're off the wall like "Niburu is coming December 21st."

I have made it clear why I think it's necessary to stock and I believe the rationale is firm. I think she does as well. The challenge as you mentioned, is for whatever reason; some people just can't or don't want to come to personal realisations or conclusions that their comfortable and (inherent birthrights as a Canadian) could be so drastically affected or impacted.

Perhaps they believe the government will be a saviour regardless of the circumstances that face us. Many likely consider it a 'right' as a taxpayer to be cared for in the event of national tragedy or situation. It so apparent that regardless of the governing body that this isn’t possible in most situations of environmental disasters and particularly in situations of war related events.

There is also the evident; some people are just too lazy to participate regardless of whether they consider the reasons perceivable or just the ramblings of a particularly paranoid partner. It seems there are as many interactions, explanations and possibilities as there are people that contribute to the conversation.

Most here seem to be so well rounded in their prepping abilities and ongoing efforts to supplement some form of convenience in the event of a future need. I really wonder how relevant or important all that is compared to the social and personal challenges that all of us would immediately be faced with in like circumstances.

Mr and Mrs W: Awesome!

You both seem blessed with each other. I really like to hear someone who is so happy in his or her relationship. I’m sure you both work hard at that and deserve each other. Many of those who read your post probably feel the same way I do, (although I’m quite satisfied with my situation) I have to admit I’m totally envious of yours, (in the very best meaning of the word.)

Good for both of you, you’re a lucky fella Mr. W. Thanks for sharing.

Hmmm....whilst both myself and my husband (and kids) are into prepping we do tend to look at it in different ways.
Hubby LOVES shooting and now my daughter has taken it up, which is great. I on the other hand hate shooting and don't really want to know anything about it but politely listen to the prattle about how he went at shooting each week etc, but on the other hand I LOVE gardening and so does my son, so hubby likewise politely listens to me prattle about it.
We don't ask the other to get involved in the others 'hobbies' and it seems to work just fine, he gives me my head in all other areas of prepping being supportive financially but actual involvement is minimal.

My partner is generally on board with all the prepping I do and even helps out with certain things. But when I try to breach the subject of learning techniques like dehydrating or canning he thinks it is too much. One day I will actually do those things though, he will enjoy the outcome and then I won't have a problem...make him food and I am golden.

"How do you get your spouse to help participate in your prepping?"

I suggest two things:
First, find out what motivates your spouse. Once you know that, ask your spouse to be responsible for that area of prepping. For instance;
If your spouse likes the morning coffee ritual, then ask her to think of everything she would need to ensure that ritual would continue in a number of given circumstances. Then, as you get more "buy-in" on prepping you can expand to other motivations.
Second, support her decisions even if they wouldn't be exactly what you would do or prep. We're all individuals and see things differently.
In my case, I generally stick to prepping within my four pillars (water / food / shelter / security), but my wife tends to think about things like family dynamics.
No problem though. It all works out in the end.

I tried to get my wife interested. She was ok with it as long as it did not cost too much or take too much of my time. So, one night while we were watching tv I told her that in order to save money I had cancelled the insurance on the house. She went through the roof. So, I calmly asked her if we had ever had a fire? Did we even know anyone that had a fire? She answered no we did not know anyone who had a house fire. So, I said, "If the odds are that we will never have a fire, why are we paying this money year after year for the insurance". She said, "Just in case." I sat back, smiled and said, "Exactly". She is now my biggest helper on prepping. It is a good analogy. You just need to put it in a perspective that they will understand.