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Extended Family: What about Grandma?

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ranger2012
(@ranger2012)
Noble Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 1280
Topic starter  

You mentioned Mind set. That is the largest subject that would drive most people to suiside should the SHTF. My own wife is part of that mind set, in a way. If the word were to come that TEOTWAWKI, she said that the the bar would soon to be emptied. Meanwhile, I'd be packing up the van with what I could, then try to pour my wife into the passenger seat. Should she refuse to go, what should I do, 1) tie her up and take her 2) leave her and her son (35 and mule brained) there on their own, or 3) stay and parish with them. Catch 22?


"We 'Prep.' to live after a downfall, Not just to survive."


   
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(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 11254
 

Ok ranger2012 I was trying to stay out of this one but ( tongue in cheek) I would offer another proposal.

1. For sure take option #1. Trust me she will thank you later and you will feel better about yourself for making the right choice.
2. As for the "35 and mule brained" son apply option #1 for him too. You can always use him for barter later!

Option #3 is definitely a non starter.



   
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 amf
(@amf)
Trusted Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 50
 

Hey all,

Have you given any thought to the welfare of your extended family in an emergency? Most talk I hear from preppers relates to the immediate family bugging out. Does anyone have parents, grandparents, cousins, etc that they would be very worried about and would try to reach?

My parents live about 2 hours from me but their health is not great and I'm an only child. My grandmother lives in a seniors lodge in the same city as me and I would feel horrible leaving town without her, but literally would not have room for her in our car. I wonder if I would try to get to my parents, depending on the situation, or what I would do.

Thoughts?

Thanks
Liss



   
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ranger2012
(@ranger2012)
Noble Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 1280
Topic starter  

It pretty bad when I knew what Oldschool would have to say, but this was basically a hypothetical question. I would no sooner leave them behind then I would leave my dogs out in the country alone. Just one thought though, I would probably have a better chance of surviving if I just took the dogs and with less fuss. Oh well, such be my cross to bear ( but why is it always up hill?). 🙄


"We 'Prep.' to live after a downfall, Not just to survive."


   
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(@cares)
Reputable Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 368
 

That's a tough one...

My Mum lives about 1 1/2 from me and is on medication (thyroid) and would not survive without it, so I do worry about her.
The rest of my family live about 5-6 hours away and I don't think there would be much chance of reaching them in a SHTF situation.

I am the black sheep in my family so I tend to be ridiculed a bit about my beliefs....so in some respects I think "Oh hang the extended family".
I don't like the idea of being the rescuer of those that have always mocked me. Harsh but true!

So for me it really comes down to immediate family in a long term SHTF situation anyway.



   
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Antsy
(@antsy)
Reputable Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 411
 

I'm not a big subscriber to an "end of times" scenario. My Mom lives in Lethbridge and therefore Lethbridge is one of my Bug out Locations. That assumes that when the SHTF, it will be localized to either my family specifically or the Calgary area generally. Were the entire western provinces to be affected, I'd stop in Lethbridge on my way South of the Border (I've got family there as well). I would ask them to come with three times after which time I'd keep moving either with or without them.

Otherwise, you keep your home in a condition where you can take your loved ones in if their worlds fall apart and you plan to share their hospitality should yours be the world that goes to hell.


Needs must when the devil drives.


   
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oldschool
(@oldschool)
Noble Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 1962
 

It pretty bad when I knew what Oldschool would have to say, but this was basically a hypothetical question. I would no sooner leave them behind then I would leave my dogs out in the country alone. Just one thought though, I would probably have a better chance of surviving if I just took the dogs and with less fuss. Oh well, such be my cross to bear ( but why is it always up hill?). 🙄

Lol and just why is it bad that you knew I would add my 2 cents and what I would say? 😀

Isnt there an unspoken rule leave no one behind



   
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(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 11254
 

I agree with the unspoken rule of "leaving no one behind"... but it refers to those who for whatever reason can't go on their own... sick, infirm, injured.... not those who CHOOSE to stay behind through denial or pigheadedness....... Thoughts? This is hard topic and one that will be decided as much based on emotion as logic. In the end it will be for each to make their decision..... and live with it.



   
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(@captain-ahab)
Estimable Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 157
 

When I think of what could happen I want to make sure that I am able to take care of my “loved ones” if they want to be with us be they extended family like children, grandparents, in-laws etc., or even a few very good friends.
These are decisions that we will all have to make and while each of us has his and her own definition of loved ones, we will all have to answer to our own conscience and I leave it up to everyone to decide who you want with you when you head for the hills so to speak and I make no judgements and will never point fingers.
Each individual that we may take with us presents their own unique set of circumstances. Some may or will be on medications that they will have difficulty living without, do we stockpile some for them? Do we leave them behind to die? Or do we take them with us so that they can die in the arms of family?
Others will be long time smokers who if they don’t have their tobacco may quite well be very difficult to live with. Some family members may be great to have around for the day but any longer and they begin to get on our nerves and having them with us every day for years could be quite trying.
Tough decisions will need to be made.
My wife and I personally have spoken with our loved ones and while they are not of the same views as us when it comes to the future and prepping, we still care for them and so we will let them know where we will be and that they are welcome. If they choose to come then they will be welcomed and put to work, if they choose not to come then they will be missed but life will go on.
Hard choices during hard times.
I wish everyone all the best in the decisions that they make.


Noli Illigitimi Carborundum
(Don’t let the bastards wear you down)


   
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(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 11254
 

This is a very tricky and emotionally loaded topic, and I think about it frequently. My family is spread out all over the country, and I'll admit, there is a great deal of dysfunctional behaviour in all the branches of the tree. So right now, my hubby and I prep for our immediate family. That includes us two, his son, my mother, his parents and his first wife. Beyond that, I try to educate the rest of my family and friends. As such, they are on their own for now. That is the best I can do with my limited resources, energy and time. Perhaps as our prepping situation improves, I can then start expanding who we can help, but for now, my hands are full. I also am working to get some friends involved so that I can expand our prepping community, and as such, hopefully expand how many people outside of the immediate clan that can be helped and included.



   
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(@lgsbrooks)
Honorable Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 647
 

I have said this same thing ...our mothers are in their early 70's & both close to us, one in a lodge and would not survive without medication and not physically able to withstand much since a stroke...the other mom lives in the next town and is able to do more physically but also on medications & would not leave her home. Sister in Calgary, married, would not in all likelyhood leave her home and family there & other sister and her husband in another city both have physical/mental disabilities and on medications they can not be without...which is horrible considering there may not be any medications anywhere if SHTF, the pain each of these family members will go through will be unbearable for them...Daughter, grandchildren and son-in-law and his family in Cape Breton NS 3000 miles from here and will not come here now, let alone then and would not be able to...we will more than likely be surviving in place as we have nowhere to go and are in our early 50's and not the best physical shape and I really can not imagine tenting it for long...especially in winter. Truly I pray God ensures our safelty while my Buddhist husband meditates and helps me prep.



   
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(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 11254
 

Gravlor mentioned his wife and feelings, so I will mention MY wife and feelings;

here goes, lived in a loveless, friendless marriage for 7 years, found out she had different reasons for getting married than the traditional ones that I believed in (so lets not go too far in figuring them out!)
she is negative, friendless, cold hearted, lying, cheating, would not even keep extra water in the house, depends on Society at large to Save Her and her daughter. Did everything the opposite of myself just to spite me. Now that list goes on and on and on!

We have been separated over 2 years, I forget that she is technically even my wife most of the time!
So, in your case I say Save the Wife/spouse, in my case or others like me...

ditch the thought of the boat anchor that is that person, that relationship move on.
(I believe that at the end of our lives we are judged, I do not think they will judge me too hard for these thoughts and if it comes to pass the deeds of not trying to save HER!)

I on the other hand will try to help, assist and save others who are trying or in need, if I come across her on the side of the road, I would do a kindness like I would to any other, offer some food, some water, some matches, some knowledge; then smile and leave her there!

Carried that cross for 7yrs, no need to carry it anymoe! She unmade her bed, let her sleep in the dirty sheets she made!
If I had a positive person for a wife, a true life Partner the story written, the point I am at in my life would be very different indeed and my actions and thoughts would probably mirror yours Gravlor, alas not to be.



   
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(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 11254
 

ps, Oldschool told me to go and read this topic, read Rangers post and told me of the content of his post. She listed the 3 things there and asked what I would pick..

I picked number 2, then she told me Ranger said he knew her thoughts and was surprised! I was not, and picked the same number!
When someone lives in a loveless, friendless relationship, they would be inclined to pick that number
When someone lives in a loving and caring relationship, like have seen that Anita and FarmGal are in, there numbers chosen would be different from ours.

happy thoughts for the night, see ya'll later EH, off to work/customers.

ps, Ranger, Oldschool made me do it! I swear, really I swear (lots and too much, but that is a whole nother topics for us ex-military peeps, construction types!)



   
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(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 11254
 

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(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 11254
 

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