YUP still following as well,….

I think there needs to be a core group of values that are similar if not the same. If the group does not share the same feelings on a certain topic say stealing, killing or something similar to protect the group then you put that OTHER person in a position. If my morals tell me not to shoot but yours do then there will be a problem whether I shoot or don't. No matter what happens in this situation one of us goes away with a bad taste in our mouths and this will not be good in the end as there is already lines being drawn in the sand on things and thats going to create animosity one way or the other.

I think setting up a group, you all need to have the same goals and be willing to obtain them objectively between your group. If you don't tow the line then your faced with getting singled out from the group naturally. So its my belief that this very crucial decision/agreement/bond is of utmost importance before signing on the dotted line and I take it as such. This is a life a death situation and I don't suspect anyone will take this lightly.

When you have a difference of opinion in a meeting/group format, its a blessing as I would rather it come out here than on the trail or at the time of need in general. We are all faced with raising an eyebrow once in awhile with this topic, and thats why I believe and I know, a lot of you agree with me on this, is the fact theses things need to be discovered/worked out beforehand before you and I have a barrel in our faces with the problem at hand outside. This will not help the group.

Im a firm believer that good morals and compassion will be the clear stand alone winner as the stakes are just plain too high to have the underbelly of your own group overcome and win. The other group might win some battles but they will never win a war of life and death in perilous times if the morally strong group with a similar belief system has their shit together. Offence, defence, sustainability and diplomacy. This is what I am hoping to align with and if I can't then I will do it alone, as biting the hand that feeds you in this case can be the end of the line for you from within your own group. I don't know about the rest of you but its the first place I put my attention. I also believe there could be a kind of an agreement before the fact kind of like a blood brother pact where when you know you have failed, you also know the outcome. Clear as mud right? If you will put myself and my family in harms way on something we have agreed on prior,... you have plainly defaulted (IN THE FEILD) and couldn't put the group in a more perilous position AT THE TIME. That deserves attention by its own group and action should be taken promptly to say the least. With an agreement that was decided upon prior as a group,….. relieves us of a hearing and judgement. POLITICS GONE!

I too have been following along, and will also add my bit. Trust is earned, I do not think we can or should judge someone after a quick meeting or just from listening to them talk. Actions, follow thru, dependability, how do people really live. Because I have found that people act the same in most situations. How you act and deal with normal day to day stuff, is how you will deal with everything.
Leadership should be about being able to look after yourself … (you are no good to anyone if you’re a mess) By making sure that I have myself looked after, means that I am better able to help those around me. Someone has already said how we each need to have many skills, and a variety of knowledge. This is, so I could survive and figure out stuff as it is happening around me, no matter if I am with others or if I am by myself. If I have my shit together than I bring strength to any group I am involved in.
The idea that a lone wolf will not eat is incorrect. Wolves eat more mice and rodents than any other kind of meat. They eat berries and grasses; they eat anything they can find. One wolf is not incomplete alone; it can just hunt bigger game in a pack.
I have seen Alpha (or Type A personality) leadership that turns into the group serving the alpha. One way or another the Alpha manages to get everyone to do what he wants or thinks is the best. True leadership is actually the other way around.
I have a met (prepper) people who are not coping with life today, when it is easy! Put deep down they want society to collapse, so that their true warrior self can have an opportunity to lead and to successfully live out some exciting and action packed life. We are who we are! Our moment to moment life today reveals who we really are.
I had an opportunity to observe how people react to an emergency here in High River this past June. People were just thrown together into groups by hap hazard circumstance, who they got in a boat with, who they rode the bus with from one shelter to another. And they stuck together, they influenced each other’s decisions and they formed bonds.
It is easy to think of lots of future reasons why going along with the group is a bad idea, so you better be strong enough to strike out on your own. How easy would it be to end up in a group of people who are going around plundering for their survival at the expense of others? The group may not start out with that intention but it just kind of evolves into that as resources become harder and harder to find. I personally think it wiser to be in a defensive position with solid group, than teamed up with an Alpha leader who is using a pack to meet his needs.
Yes it is important that we make these decisions ahead of time, and that we get into groups that have the same core ideas. Yes it is all about building and earning trust within these groups. Yes it is difficult!!!!! but far better done now.

Well said! Out of all my concerns, I worry most about making connections now. With people I want to live side by side with on my property as well as pockets of people within a horseback ride distance away that I may have bartering relations with. I would much rather know you now. Who knows...you may decide not to shoot me if you recognize me. It didn't much matter in the days of WW2(for my dad,) who remembers neighbours or friends turning each other in to save their own skins. But I'd much rather have a recognizable face come to my gate!

is two way , if i trust people , they had to trust me,

I agree that trust needs to be earned and it needs to be a two way street. Getting more than one Alpha in a group could cause conflict. It's something that needs to be considered when choosing people to recruit. Just because people have similar views or see the same problems, does not mean they will want to deal with it in the same way. Getting to know people may be difficult in a emergency situation. That is why it is important to find like minded people now, as a part of the prepping process. Get to know people, how they work, and what they see as solutions to possible scenarios that could come up in a SHTF situation.
This thread went on for a while. I have been off the internet for a while, and just came back. I am happy to see there were followers on here as it seems to be a hot topic.

well it might be easier to answer the other way around, and from my casual observation....not authors 🙄 ...not ever, their not very clever, with blogs of endeavor.... my 2 cents.

oh wait..dr seuss...yes there is a author I think you could trust, and not go bust.

“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.

You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”

“Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you. “

It should also be noted that sometimes things go badly and relationships are strained. This doesn't always mean that all is lost. Sometimes people need to find another path but it doesn't mean that path has to go in a totally different direction than the one they stepped off of.
Trust has to do with the core of your beliefs. Life experience is important, but being trustworthy comes from the heart.
Add up everything you know about someone and do the math. We all make mistakes and sometimes someone does something that is not nice. That doesn't mean they can't be trusted.

This is an important but difficult topic we are also discussing. It would be ideal to work as a team when the time comes but also a risk to reveal too much when you never know who you can trust.

We are officially bugged-out as of Oct 2014, we actually took the plunge and did it, needless to say it's a pretty dramatic lifestyle change and nothing like we expected.

Moving from a major city to a small settlement of < 300 is both weird and calming at the same time. The people here are just as unsuspecting as where we came from so one of our prime concerns is how they will behave when the time comes, will we have to fend off hungry neighbors? Will they turn on us because we still have heat, water and food or will they organize and support one another?

I don't think there can be any truly sound plan or safe place, you can only increase your odds, at that with huge effort.

We think it would be great to talk with others/couples ideally near us and see what comes of it. We are in the Alberta Special Areas.

When the S does HTF the population will likely be drastically reduced. From this will become obvious a distinction between good people you can trust and not so good people you can not. When this happens, the good, the bad and me the ugly will have to either get along or duke it out.
I plan on having a bug out from the bug out and seeing who wins. It's called survival for a reason. Keeping the trustworthy people around me who I care about safe is priority #1.
Second is dry matches, third TP, fourth...

Has anyone tried using those "Conflicted" cards? A bit gimmicky, but the idea is supposed to be to casually ask some questions during meetings with friends.

I'm not sure they are as useful as advertised, but for "rule out" purposes, I think they might be useful. For example, if you have a "middle tier" friend (not an acquaintance, but not your best friend) who has similar interests (e.g. outdoors, hunting, marksmanship), and you wanted to test him / her, you could ask certain questions like (excerpted from one of the decks):

"After the collapse ... people start grouping together. M, the self-proclaimed leader in the protagonist's neighborhood, decides that everyone's food and property had to be gathered and distributed equally for the good of the community. Do you agree or disagree?"

Obviously, most preppers believe that they are sacrificing fancy restaurant dinners, a Lexus, a huge house, or whatever ... in order to save and prepare for the future. And they understandably expect to be able to use these supplies if things go bad, instead of having forced wealth redistribution / communism.

If the candidate friend in question answered the question (seriously, not flippantly), in favour of socialism vs. independence ... well, that would probably rule him or her out as a future prepper ally. It might be prudent not to reveal any survivalist tendencies, BOLs, BOV capability, armoury, or other preps.

Your thoughts?

Hello sarcopenia. Ya, our growing group play the cards and after some chuckling over some of the black and white questions/scenarios -with very grey answers- we all sort of got into it. It is interesting, very revealing and surprising.
The one thing I loved about the game is that it brings up conversation that may not have come up as soon. Yea, in the end, it's a game, but I think all groups should play it. Why not! Groups should already be talking of 'what if' scenarios. We, in fact begin our meetings with a few cards. You diffinetly don't want a group that would answer all the questions the same way, you want a mix. You don't want a group that's all soldiers OR all therapists-the questions help the group figure out they need to set rules of the group prior to the crisis. If it's heated conversation now-what would it look like in a crisis!!!

Great thread! I love all the discussion 🙂

I agree with farmgal's analogy of internet dating. And the one about herding cats. There is WIDE variety of people who are into preparedness and survivalism..not all will be compatible with your views and interests. Also I think there is a different level of trust required for collaboration and sharing skills and informative, vs forming a MAG or living community. For the former, personally I have gotten into new skills thanks to people like Denob (ham radio) and more recently the Survival Expo (firearms, self defense). I think if you follow basic opsec, that kind of trust is pretty simple. I've also noticed that people you know and trust in another capacity (work colleagues in my case), once you share (selectively) that you are learning "x" skill or developed an interest in a certain topic, you find out there's a whole group already, people you know, but you just didn't know they were kindred spirits. Maybe as I am a woman and typically these are men, who are thrilled to have women show an interest in some of these things, but still, I'll take it 🙂 I think I usually have a good instinct for knowing who to trust, also. I've travelled to some countries not known for their stability or friendliness to Westerners (esp "unaccompanied" heathen women) and been in some sketchy locales there, and came out unscathed...

My opinion on prepping as a single person is yes, it's more work. That said, I know many single people who are incredibly resourceful because they can't put something on the honey do list...because they ARE the honey do list. I am relatively new to prepping compared to some, but living alone I've learned some homesteading skills along with so-called masculine things...plumbing, animal care, first aid, substantial home reno skills. I have more heavy-duty tools than many husbands I know.

I do not buy the line that only couples can be trusted. People like to think that being coupled is a permanent situation, but people betray, die or divorce all the time. Of course, nobody thinks it will happen to then, kinda like disasters or SHTf in general. If they knew in advance then they might not ever get married or become a couple :). Look how lost some people are when they lose their spouse, and that spouse was the one who "always took care of X". Cautionary tales, although I imagine that preppers would be a bit more balanced and not rely on one partner for certain knowledge or capability. I've been on the receiving end of the "we only trust other couples" mentality, and it's amazing how some people will shameslessly try and mend bridges when their relationship falls apart, when you weren't good enough for them before, because you were "still single". Of course I don't wish marital problems or loss on anyone, but keep in mind there are various ways to be "family". My sister just moved in to take a grad degree in a new city, and I showed her where stuff was, "just in case" 😀 and also told her about some of my extracurricular activities. Bit of an eye opener I think from how she knew me as a teenager. I would trust her with my life in a shtf situation. Same with specific friends. I have another sister, very messed up, who I wouldn't trust further than I could throw, who wouldn't leave alone in a room with my pets, a weapon or my wallet/keys and who I wouldn't save from a burning building. Blood counts for nothing there. Some friends are family you choose yourself. Some may think that is naive or cynical, but crap times I've been through in my life has shown me who steps up... and it's not always who you think, or what is expected according to to social mores. Ok I'll get off my soapbox now haha....

Regardless, I'm not one to put off preparing til I had my perfect man....if I thought that made sense then I'd also wave my fairy princess wand and order up a rainbow unicorn while I was at it 😆

Well put HopeImReady.
By the by...Our group has singles in it. Individuals that bring personalities and skills to our group that we wouldn't want to do without! It actually never crossed my mind that they were untrustworthy due to their status. Also totally agree... that those that step up in times of crap-do surprise you!! You just never know!! I may not be single, but I too -do this so called 'masculine stuff'. I make my own log furniture, use the tractor daily, train horses, build and repair frequently, look after my animals. I'm of the belief that women should be able to do these things anyway. Some women out there are doing themselves an injustice by not learning these skills. I'm a excellent shot in both hand guns and rifles and really enjoy going out back to practise shooting. Amongst other things; I teach self defence for my employer-and I'm better at it than my husband(jab). These qualities are stereotypes of being masculine but there are women out there that live like this regularly. Almost every women out in the country where I live are extremely independent. Some married, some single and their running huge farms!!! I learned long ago...never judge a book by its cover! And, I'd never put off preparing, single or married!!! Also...if you look closely the unicorns horn is only glued onto a regular horse!(shhhhhh!) 😉