Sorry girls.....this is a bit sexist (bloody Aussie humour)
15 Reasons why beer is better than women
1 - You don't have to wine and dine a beer
2 - Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play football
3 - Beer is never late
4 - A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer
5 - Beer labels come off without a fight
6 - When you go to a bar you know you can always pick up a beer
7 - Beer never has a headache
8 - A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer
9 - A beer always goes down easy
10 - You can always share a beer with friends
11 - You know you're always the first one to pop a beer
12 - Beer doesn't demand equality
13 - You can have a beer in public
14 - A beer doesn't care what time you come home
15 – A beer is always ready when you are
Russell Coight....outback legend
Sorry guys .....this is a bit sexist too (same excuse as above!)
Men are Like
Men are like.....Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.
Men are like......Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
Men are like.....Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like.....Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
Men are like.....Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like.....Department Stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like.....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like.....Snowstorms. You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last.
Russell Coight....outback legend